Wednesday, June 6, 2007.
okay, im seriously have no mood man. what the heck wrong is with me. what is it with the sudden break up thingy ? WTF man. why cant i stop my tears from crying ? what's wrong with EVERYTHING ? 21 more days to my special birthday but, i dont have to mood to celebrate.
if i were to make a wish right now for my birthday, it will be to tear myself apart & wished i'd never exist.
I WISHED I'D NEVER MET HIM, I WISHED IT WAS NOT ME THAT HE LOVED, I WISHED I WAS NOT IN THIS SCHOOL, I WISHED IM OUT FROM THIS WHOLE NIGHTMARE & I WISHED I'LL STOP CRYING.
& also I WISHED PEOPLE WONT ASK ME ABOUT THIS! FOR GOODNESS SAKE PEOPLE, DONT ASK ME THIS FUCKING QNS OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I HAVE ENOUGH OF IT.
He said to me once that he'd love me forever & never want to let go of me. Those promises, they seemed all CRAP to me. But how could you. i guess all i want to do now is just to lock myself up in my room, doing nothing.
& i'll wait for one day, where i can find the right guy for me. i want someone to kidnap or kill me so that i can escape from this situation. but, this is reality. i never felt so much pain before. its like as if a nail was drilled through my heart, & left a hole that can never be cured.
one year & 2 months plus was just thrown in the dustbin. all of it was just a waste.
the gift he gave me on valentines day, i always sleep with it at night to remind myself of him.
but all this while, it was all fake.
ALL FAKE!
I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT IHATE IT IHATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HTE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT IHATE IT IHATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT !!!!!!!!!
*Please dont approach me for a while, i really need to be with myself alone.
You mean
alot to me.
